okay pat passed out under dana's car
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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