I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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