is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize