If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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