I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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