Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
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i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
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i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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