Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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