Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
