we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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