we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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