So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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