This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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