my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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