pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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