You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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