Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
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Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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someone needs to name a hurricane after you
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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