i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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