Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize