I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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