It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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