No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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