I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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