the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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