U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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