My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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