she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize