Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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