Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.

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(949): View more from California

It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth

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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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(305): View more from Florida

He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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(785): View more from Kansas

this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.

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(817): View more from Texas

like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello

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