I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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