Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize