And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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