im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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