That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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