So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize