I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize