Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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