I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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