my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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