why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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