it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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