Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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