Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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(562): View more from California

even your uterus rejects him.

(1-562): View more from California

apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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(256): View more from Alabama

so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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(760): View more from California

Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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(516): View more from New York

Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me

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