I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize