I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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