one might say we're banned from that church
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize