their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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