so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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