Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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