so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize