So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize