Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize