It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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